


Windowsill

by tKing



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Suicide, dave's not friends with rose or jade, john fucks off to washington, light johndave??, this is literally just a vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 07:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11009151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tKing/pseuds/tKing
Summary: A note and shades stood on a nightstand, and a window left open.





	1. Chapter 1

You sit calmly on your windowsill, lightly swinging your legs, looking down to the alleyway beneath you. The one between your apartment complex and the next.

 

You hear banging at your door and you know it’s your brother.

It’s not because he cares. You know it’s because he’s drunk off his ass and pissed.

Normally you’d be scared, horrified, even. But you know that there’s nothing stopping you from pushing yourself off the edge, even if he gets in.

He may be fast, but he won’t expect this. He can’t counter it. He won’t realize it all until you splat on the pavement.

You don’t want him to see. But you’re taking your time.

You’re not debating. You know what you’re doing. You’ve thought about it for a long time now.

This is your death, and you’ll push yourself off that goddamn edge when you want to.

You can hear your brother’s drunken slurs as he rams into the door. It’s nothing nice. No comfort.

Of course no comfort. What did you expect? “Oh Dave, forget about how I abused you all these years! Don’t do it!”?

That’s laughable.

It’s so laughable, in fact, that you chuckle a bit to yourself.

You look down at yourself, in what little time you have left, but time seems to be feeling generous today, giving you all you need.

You’re bony. Bruised. Pale. Probably look half-dead to normal people. You stopped eating a bit ago. You always get hurt for it. You only actually ate something today for the… ‘Special Occasion’. Your shades that John gave you are on your nightstand, tired crimson eyes with heavy bags underneath them with nothing to protect them. Next to the shades is a note written in red ink. You’re wearing a baggy t-shirt. You take some time just analyzing the discolored parts of your arms. The discolored parts of your legs.  
You’re rather fragile at this point, huh?

He’s going to break the door down soon. You don’t care. He obviously doesn’t either.

 

It breaks.

You smile lightly, sadly.

You push.

You fall.

You’re not sure what you hear. It’s far away to you.

And memories flash right before your eyes on your way down.


	2. Last Year Of Middle School

“Hey Dave!” John says running over to sit with you at lunch. He always does. You don’t mind it.  
“Sup, Egbert?” You wave to him. He has that dorky, goofy smile of his on his face like always. You’re not sure how you feel about him, but that smile and the shine in his eyes makes everything a little more bearable.

“Not much, buuut” He pauses for suspense as he pulls a card out of his uniform’s pocket. “Look at this cool pokemon card a kid gave me in class! It shines, too!” He says, looking as proud as ever.  
“Oh really? Isn’t that like, one of the McDonalds pokemon cards? That are super easy to get?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. How did he not notice the big yellow M on the side?  
He takes a moment to look over the card and then sighs.

“The kid said it was rare but yeah, I guess you’re right.” He confessed, putting the card away as you two ate lunch and gone through the day.

Home was never fun. You brother was always drunk. But at least you know John. Even if you never tell him anything. At least you have a friend.  
You’d ask John to let you come over, but you know that you’d just be hurt more for being away from ‘Home’.

 

It wasn’t your home anymore. It never was.

 

Home should make you feel safe, comfortable.

 

Neither of those even remotely describes the apartment.


	3. Highschool

You don’t see John the first day of highschool. It’s odd, but you let it slide.  
You don’t see John the second day of highschool. Maybe he got sick. You let it slide.  
You don’t see John the first year of highschool.  
You find out John and his dad moved to washington.  
You find out how it is to be alone.  
You find out what it’s like to be bullied.  
You realize what it’s like to be tormented.  
To be pushed.

To be humiliated.

To be called harsh slurs.

 

You realize what real hell is.

And it’s living without support.

Year after year it got worse.

Your life at home gone downhill when you thought it couldn’t anymore.  
You got choked.  
Had a bottle smashed on your head.  
Bled and bled.

Your life at school was no better.  
Jocks kicked you down.  
Spit on you.  
Humiliated you.  
Made you uncomfortable in your own skin.  
With no one to vent to.


	4. Chapter 4

A note and shades stood on a nightstand, a window left open to the far left. A man standing in the doorway of a now empty room.

“ hey.  
i dont know if you care about me.  
you probably dont.  
i understand that. at this point, i dont either.  
ive decided to end it today. theres nowhere for me to go but down, right?  
john left me without telling me.  
you obviously dont give a shit about my health.  
i have scars.  
ive lost so much blood.  
ive starved myself, even.  
no ones there for me. i might as well end it now.  
i wanted to make you proud. make you happy.  
you never were.  
but thats expected, i guess.  
im running out of space.  
sorry, if you care, i guess. you never really showed it.

\- Dave “


End file.
